Real talk here bro, stop worrying about making yourself “perfect” for someone, or rather anyone, else. Stop trying to make yourself what you idolize, or what you perceive to be idolized.
You are you, you are a person. Take care of yourself first. You need to change your mentality and realize that you do have redeeming qualities. You need to focus on those.
Learn to love yourself first, trust me on this one.
You can go to dicks.com and see for yourself as well