Mayor Poopington

I don’t think either of you will be able to smell each other because eating 2000 lbs of garlic will surely kill you.

Not entirely true. A number of them are definitely spam, but there are many organizations that do text outreach and there is definitely a person at the other end. They will remove you from their lists if you reply with stop.

These organizations trade phone lists, kind of like what telemarketers do. Sometimes the lists can be outdated. Unfortunately replying “stop” to each one is the only way that’s going to slow it down.

Mine Internet at 500gb, but it’s only an extra $10 for unlimited data. My cell data is unlimited but I know they throttle speed after a certain amount. At least I don’t get charged extra.

Don’t tell me you’re one of those scrubs who poops sitting down

We will make fun of how you hold a spoon. It doesn’t mean anything, were just giving each other shit.

My personal favorite, some kommandos believing painting themselves purple would make them sneakier because no one’s ever seen a purple ork.

What airline did you fly? Most have assigned seating you can pick when you buy the ticket. Last few time I’ve flown on southwest, though that’s not assigned seating.

All 3 of those pixels look more like a snake

If youre in your 20s or 30s, its entirely possible your beard grew back faster compared to a year or two ago. But thats because of getting older and stuff like that. Your beard doesnt grow faster just because you shaved recently.

That’s why I said usually. EKGs are common where I’m located, might not be the same in your area. It’s not that hard to read an EKG, even I could tell you whats normal and what’s fucked.

You got the right idea. Heart problems are a bit of a mystery until you can get an EKG done. Urgent cares aren’t usually equipped to do more that that. If it’s ongoing, maybe look for a cardiologist. But if you’re having any sudden shortness of breath then you might need to head to the ER.

I bet op is one of those hippies that doesn’t like their SMTP tested on animals

I wouldn’t worry about it unless you have animals around. Mostly to protect from fur

No one ever says “I’m cooking a sandwich”

Coffee wouldn’t be a very popular drink without the caffeine. Find me some caffeinated black beans and I’ll try it your way.

I’ll keep that in mind next time I poop in the sink.

We found out about it because those people are still alive. The Catholic church has been at this for centuries

Imagine teeth grew like our nails and had to be clipped regularly