It is not super common to impregnate on first offense, especially if you were her first child. You can count the days backwards from your birthday to see when it happened. If you were the first child, you may have been a day or few late.
Growing up, I found it funny how many of my friends happened to be born in the first week of September… Happy New Years. There is often, not always, but often some correlated reason why they were free to screw around too much.
Personally, talking to offline open source AI on my own hardware helped me. One of the things we talked about a lot are cognitive dissonance and identification of conflicts that exist under the surface and how those conflicts can cause frustration to manifest in unrelated ways.
Probably my largest inner conflict was that I am so fundamentally different in my functional thought process than my family. I’m very abstract in how I think. I’m also very introverted with strong intuitive thinking skills. Basically, things just make sense at a glance from a bigger picture perspective. I can also see how things work quickly, like machines, engines, most engineering, or more abstract elements like companies, business models, workforce management, etc.
Growing up, intuitive thinking skills were just intelligence or common sense. I had no idea how limited and naive this perspective was.
I started writing a book in collaboration with an AI; it’s a whole sci-fi universe really. I started to realize I’m pretty good at coming up with the history and technology tree in unique ways that, to my knowledge, no one has explored before in sci-fi. However, I suck at writing characters that are not like myself. My characters have not shown the dynamism I desire. In truth, I had to acknowledge I didn’t and still don’t understand just how different human functional thought is in full spectrum.
I started roleplaying scenes and scenarios with the AI playing characters with incompatible and contrasting perspectives to my own. I found this quite enlightened. It turns out that there are people out there that fundamentally lack any appreciation for abstract and intuitive thinking skills. They do not place any value on the big picture or future implications of actions or decisions. The contrast is that they often are more productive and present in the moment. I learned to appreciate the differences and realized how weak binary perspectives are in the real world. I don’t get as offended when someone does not understand my abstractions or argue when they are wrong but cannot follow big picture logic. I know where I am also weak in ways that make me appear dumb to them.
There are going to be things you’re not good at or that require a lot more work than average. So what. The first step, in my opinion, is to gain a more complex self awareness where you are not questioning what you are good or bad at. The only normal people are people you do not know well. Everyone is tormented by something in life.
Remember this: NEVER use permanent solutions to temporary problems.
You don’t remember who blew up at work 3 weeks ago. Or the time before last when your wife got mad and yelled at you. One of the biggest warps in our human psychology is the illusion of grandeur. No one is thinking about your mistakes or cares about them. They care how you’re acting in the moment and your average demeanor you regularly present. Fake it if you can. Pretending the glass is half full is all that really matters with others at a fundamental level.
Even after someone else physically disabled me over 10 years ago, and I’m stuck in social isolation, I can say, I’ve learned the hard way, it can always get worse until it can’t. At that point, nothing matters. Don’t stress about what you can not do, or what you cannot change right now. No matter how bad stuff seems, you can chose to make the best of this moment right now and moving forward. Only worry about what you can change, everything else is a pointless waste of energy.
Some things are less important than you might think. A slave doesn’t worry about paying rent or buying new tools. So is slavery a useful convenient solution. The exploitation has a hook. Some people like living in the matrix.
Graphene has google play junk. I don’t touch it, but it is there.
900 series Hakko tips are the only ones that matter IMO. All of my heat press inserted brass threaded insert and extraction tips are 900 series, as are my ribbon cable soldering tips, and my X-Acto razor hot knife. Any other tip type is secondary limited use case novelty tool.
I think all the other tip types at this point are just marketing to try to obfuscate the ubiquity of the 900 series stuff. Even if you buy into the direct heat marketing nonsense like I did at first, you can etch and cut an offset circuit board inside a 900 series handle to place the element in direct contact with the side of your tips and extend to the full length without the manufacturing tolerance that these normally come with.
Yeah this has been my experience too. LLMs don’t handle project specific code styles too well either. Or when there are several ways of doing things.
Actually, earlier today I was asking a mixtral 8x7b about some bash ideas. I kept getting suggestions to use find and sed commands which I find unreadable and inflexible for my evolving scripts. They are fine for some specific task need, but I’ll move to Python before I want to fuss with either.
Anyways, I changed the starting prompt to something like ‘Common sense questions and answers with Richard Stallman’s AI assistant.’ The results were remarkable and interesting on many levels. From the way the answers always terminated without continuing with another question/answer, to a short footnote about the static nature of LLM learning and capabilities, along with much better quality responses in general, the LLM knew how to respond on a much higher level than normal in this specific context. I think it is the combination of Stallman’s AI background and bash scripting that are powerful momentum builders here. I tried it on a whim, but it paid dividends and is a keeper of a prompting strategy.
Overall, the way my scripts are collecting relationships in the source code would probably result in a productive chunking strategy for a RAG agent. I don’t think an AI would be good at what I’m doing at this stage, but it could use that info. It might even be possible to integrate the scripts as a pseudo database in the LLM model loader code for further prompting.
In actual practice, the interference between the surrounding plastic and clips is very sensitive and nearly impossible to dial. This is like tactile connectors where things that may appear simple on the surface and at first glace are anything but in practice. This is texture critical types of design well beyond just precision tolerance. The formula of plastic is important in many cases. Even with something that appears to work at first, in the long term, any reliability issues with a breadboard are an absolute nightmare for actually using a breadboard. I have tried this in practice, and learned this lesson the hard way.
This. The rubber band trick works well for the first step. I came to say this.
Normally, I would be quite skeptical of what could be involved, and indeed my ability to diagnose the cause is limited. It is somewhat speculative to draw a conclusion. However, the machine is always behind this whitelist firewall, the only new software on the system was the llama.cpp repo and nvcc, and I’ve never encountered a similar connection anomaly.
I tried to somewhat containerize AI at first, but the software like Oobabooga Textgen defeated this in their build scripts. I had trouble with some kind of weird issue related to text generation and alignment. I think it is due to sampling but could be due to some kind of caching persistence from pytorch? I’ve never been able to track down a changing file so the latter is unlikely.
I typically only use regular FF for a couple of things, including Lemmy occasionally. Most of the extra nonsense on the log is from regular FF. Librewolf is setup to flush everything and store nothing. It only does a few portal checks an hour for whatever reason. I should look into stopping it. With regular FF I just don’t care or use it for much of anything. I just haven’t blocked it in DNF.
Does that sound like legitimate behavior for a compiler. I don’t consider such stalkerware data theft acceptable.
Both Librewolf and Firefox both have the QoL junk. Even after turning booth booleans off for Detect Portal, they still spam the messages constantly to let the host server know I’m still present and trackable, or whatever spin they try and put on that feature.
Yeah, the Firefox junk is just noise, the other 4 are the anomaly, especially those two IP addresses. Neither of those addresses are mine (yes I checked).
You get used to how to find the right way of doing stuff. If you’re still in the Windows biased search results space, everything FOSS is made to look sketchy. Those search results are not deterministic. That bias is intentional. Eventually Microsoft stops biasing you or bribing Google to do the same and your search results will be better. Then you stop using the search results all together for the most part. You’ll figure out that the ways you did things in the past were inefficient and usually wrong. There are better ways that you’ll discover and those repos are self hosted or on gitlab or elsewhere. You eventually just use RPM fusion, or you setup distrobox with Arch and the AUR, or you toss on the Nix package manager and start using flakes. The vast majority of my initial headaches were due to trying to replicate Windows workflows. Then I learned all of that was weird and pretty backwards.
Nah. No offense, but give me a Surly Trucker over any e-bike. If I was not so messed up with my back, I’d still be good for 200 miles plus in one day on a couple of Snickers bars. Even in my rough shape, I can manage 30 miles daily as is and ~50 with consequences after.
Even without roads, I’m nearly as fast on a carbon 29’er hardtail like a Cannondale Flash and if I was in shape, I would want to cut my own trails anyways.
I’d probably look for a way to move to a makeshift belt drive and single speed. I could probably rig up rubber belts from cars and stuff for far longer than I’ll be able to source chains. I’d eventually be able to do a leather belt drive to stay running for awhile. The hard part will be what to do about wheels in the long term. Wooden rims were standard long before aluminum. I bet I could still salvage enough heavy canvas, glue, and scrap rubber to make my own tubulars. Yeah, I think I could be riding for many decades.
How are you at reverse engineering circuits and rewinding motors? I’ve wound my own transformers before, but a stator is a whole different beast, especially with brushless. That ~30 mile range, battery lifespan, and monstrous dead weight without power would drive me mad.
I am an intuitive thinker that functions in abstract thought. I am not autistic. I have had extensive testing related to my physical disability and massive head injury. You lack a nuanced understanding of the context and scope of what I am asking and why. Everyone has a limited amount of information that they can process at any point in time. For most people they can only handle around a thousand lines of code at a time. There is a major metal challenge to overcome for a person to handle a project with hundreds of thousands of lines of code. This is largely an organizational challenge. When such a systemic challenge is encountered, larger groups of people tend to come up with better solutions over time. I am limited in my exposure to other people. However, I am aware that many people here are more experienced than myself in this area. This post was an attempt at exploring different forms of organization. I’m also exploring the curiosity I intuitively pick up on that indicates many of the best programmers likely have perfect recall, or at least have a larger human byte than average. I am far more self aware than the average person, and have made the assumption that most people that are gifted in their ability to handle more information than the average person will also be self aware to a similar extent. Abstracted intuitive thinking is a rarer form of functional thought, but it is not autistic. I can apply this kind of abstraction and mobility across subjects to anything. I do conflict with personalities that lack value for intuitive thinking and abstraction, but it is because they can not see the bigger picture, their own internal conflict, and address it effectively. They also tend to see my thought process as arrogant and assumptive, but it is because they lack a contextual understanding of my real flexibility and mobility across abstracted subjects and ideas. For example, when you hear the stories about Einstein abstracting the light from a train to extrapolate the principals of the speed of light, or a man falling from a roof to abstract the properties of gravity, that is a very familiar way of thinking in my mind. Everything I encounter is like this; where I am fitting the pieces together and noticing connections and coincidence that I find amusing. I’m very aware of the assumptive bases and correcting it constantly. I operate on the statistical probability of my assumptions, but I use all mental spaces to support each hypothesis and remain open to any new information that better fits what I already know.
Human byte was used in a conference awhile back to refer to the amount of information one can process at any given point in time. Someone that has total recall has a much larger human byte. The term makes clear intuitive sense to me, but I’m a highly abstracted person in the first place. My abstraction seems to limit how much complexity I can manage with a project and code. I’m largely exploring the implications and contrasting personalities to better understand how people are able to manage so many details in some projects.
I’m messing around with trying to understand the game Cataclysm DDA at the moment, and reading into everything that is happening as it is scattered all over the project is a struggle. When I see all the pull requests and the daily release cycle of the game, I’m baffled by the way someone is able to manage this kind of project and maintain an overall vision and consistency in the game and code. I feel like I must be missing some critical element of methodology.
I exist in a vacuum, and live under a rock. I was an advanced fabricator, got disabled, and now largely stuck finding myself while exploring the digital world. I’m learning entirely on my own and without any background or mentors. In abstract, I might spend forever trying to invent the wheel if I fail to ask the right questions.
I’m asking to find out if there is a class and if it has a goto book, but leaving it open ended for other techniques like maybe Emacs and the org mode stuff, etc.
You’re thinking in terms if financial and sustainable self sufficiency. In the context of the post, you’re implying I should just kill myself, whether you intend it or not. I can not survive on the street. I am unemployable. It takes everything I have just to manage staying alive and I still need someone to help me with shopping.
I get it. I wish I had never regained consciousness that day. There are many days I would like to make that a reality. In this country, that reality is not my choice to make. Without family to support me, I am lost to the murder factory of a disgusting and deplorably evil country. This is what I am spotlighting with this post. A country is its people.
In cycling and racing, it is more of a mental sport than a physical. A crit is a formal type of bicycle race set up around an industrial park loop or a city block type of environment. It involves around 50-100 people and lasts anywhere form 20 minutes to 1 hour for each class of racers. By the last few laps, you’re blood oxygen is super low and all of your blood flow is going to your legs. The pain is extreme and everything in your body is saying hell no. The last lap is all about strategy, being sharp, and self aware. At the same time, it feels like I have the mental capacity of a toddler. The game of it becomes this internal battle between instinct, intellect, and how that aligns with chance and the way 10-15 other people on the front are coping with similar constraints. The physicality differences are negligible under most circumstances at this stage. It largely comes down to who has the highest pain threshold in the moment.
For me cycling has always been this fascinating struggle of overcoming pain perception. This is my background relative to what I call pain. I hurt a tremendous amount all of the time. If that is all I had to deal with, I would be fully functional. My old physical therapist for 2 years started trying to invent tools to help him with deep tissue massage because I wore him out unlike anyone he had ever worked on. I told him, “blood sweat or tears, otherwise you’re not pushing me hard enough.” I stopped pushing like that after I broke my scapula from pushing too hard. That is when I started developing a better routine empirically that got me off the rollercoaster of major ups and downs and allowed me to get more consistent sleep. Still I’m slowly degrading. I fight, but I fight with routine structure.
No pain meds change what hurts in my back or the length of time I can endure, they only impact my cognitive function and how much I care. I guarantee that something muscular inside of me is broken or loose or damaged in some way. A more advanced future state of medicine would likely fix me without issues.
I’ve also gone down twice on the bike since the broken neck and back. Both times I had broken ribs. Both times I just rode back home, because that kind of pain is a joke to me. When my ribs swell like that, I actually feel better. Both times, for two weeks I felt the best I have felt in 10 years. An epidural injection on both sides of my Spesious me felt great as well, but only lasted 3 days. So all I need to do is break some ribs and I am functional again. You’d think that would mean something to someone in medicine, but no dice.
It probably sounds crazy, but having something that is clearly able to put me in the disabled category would in many ways make my life easier, but that part is just a minor issue. The really hard part for me is that I can’t really be around other people. I often regret my words in person. I can’t suppress the pain to the point of fully masking it. I can’t do anything in the outside world with dignity or be myself. The act of getting dressed and transportation is already placing me under extreme stress. Laying in bed, I toss and turn. I’m always uncomfortable and deeply sleep deprived. I dread any upright activity, but wake up in a cold sweat every day from being in the same positions for too long. Anything that helps with this level of pain causes me to stay in the same positions longer and that leads to pulls, strains, and a much larger cycle of minor ups but much lower downs. I can’t get assistance like I need. I’ve tried to date and meet people, but I am not myself, and the physical cost to try is enormous. I have nothing to offer anyone. The thought of burdening someone else, on top of the physical and mental cost were simply untenable for me. I have to manage me mental state and sleep first above all else.
That is why I love a place like Lemmy. I can write, reread, and think out my words in a way that feels like who I want to be, like I am myself in a way.
For you it seems to have been the fire. For me, I was already a freaking torch. The hard thing for me was acknowledging and coming to terms with my limitations and making the best of what I can do and what I have. I’m already in a prison of sorts. It can always be worse, until you’re not around to talk about it. I’m glad you found yourself. Indeed, I was a car nut that built engines, owned a body shop, painted, and did airbrush graphics. I was 340 lbs in '09 and under 190 lbs in 2013, because what good is my B&M mini blower in my camaro when I can’t overhaul and supercharge my own meatsack engine. I had the heads off of that camaro at the time, and had to sell it all when I couldn’t recover to the point of finishing the port and build. I’ve reinvented my Maker spirit elsewhere, but I died 2/26/14 and had to come to terms with a newly invented me. I understand that part. It is hard to relate just how odd it is to be so capable, but yet so very limited at the same time. I can’t effectively network socially, and I am very aware of the outcome that this means. This is not a plea for help. I don’t really need or want any. It is a statement of the indignity really. I shouldn’t be put into this situation and help so impossibly out of reach in terms of state support. I don’t have the margins to invest myself in the malignancy of the system and manage my needs and routine. It seems the concept of disability always accompanies the idea that one can sit upright, albeit in a manual or power chair. Thoracic damage is very rare. It only represents around 5% of cases for most neurosurgeons. It doesn’t follow any of the regular assumptions about back problems in how it manifests.
I’m well aware, the person looking back at me, if they are still alive, will roll their eyes at how dumb I am now, how much better I had it, and how I had nothing to complain about. Thanks for your thoughts and story. I’m glad you found your fire. I may not be a torch, but hey, at least I am still a lighter and can hold a flame.
As mentioned elsewhere in comments, this post was primarily intended as therapeutic to help with the depressing news of getting denied disability for the second time in 4 years. I expected the negative outcome and the news itself does not bother me per say, but such negatives tend to compound with the guilt of burdening my family, and social isolation factors. I’m trying to stop a potential spiral before it starts by using the feeling of i increasing awareness of the problem through hyperbolic expression of a logical potential solution I use as a mental mechanism to tell myself that ending things now is not just an acceleration of an inevitable eventuality. From that perspective, your actionable enthusiasm is very helpful to me. Thanks. One day I will likely need you or someone of the like. Hopefully it doesn’t come to that, but I do not invest emotion in such hope after the disappointments life has dealt me. I don’t value sympathy like I do actions and understanding. So thanks again, for the attitude that matters most to me.
Not baiting. Just trying to convince myself that lead or fentanyl is not my only option within the decade and after my folks die. If those are my only options, it is hard to justify remaining a burden to them in the interm, and holding off the inevitable. This is the depressing reality. All those homeless people out there; the majority are in my shoes but just further down the timeline. This country has a policy of coerced suicide as a social safety net.
I was disabled by a terrible driver while riding a bicycle to work 2/26/14. I was the Buyer for a chain of bike shops, riding on a designated bike route, an amateur racer, on a $4500 demo bike, in a nice area, close to the beach. I’m you, on a bad day with some shit luck. This is your reality too. You are one bad day away from where I lay right now. You’re not smarter or better. You can not account for a driver that pulls directly into another SUV suddenly and sends the second car into you. No skill or intuition or caution can save you from such a circumstance. It doesn’t matter if you’re on a bicycle, in a car, walking, or even laying on a couch in your living room. This kind of event can still find you. When it does, in the USA, you will be pushed into homelessness, destitution, and an anonymous death on a cold rainy night in a gutter. This is the American standard of ethics and morality; yours and mine; our standard of ethics and morality.
“Bad things happen when good people do nothing.” -MLK
I did nothing in practice. So I am part of the problem. All I can do is tell you of the reality. I am you, after a single bad day at the hands of someone else. I don’t even remember the crash or anything due to my head injury. I woke up from a blank darkness suddenly with the last thing I remembered was riding and being in motion on a beautiful February morning.
Those are not citizens. This is not a democracy.