I self host a nextcloud service on my old desktop that serves as a server but every now and then the updates crash something. Sharing calendar and notes is too complicated if you don’t have a vps or a domain.
Self hosting is a pain imo. You can pay a small cloud provider with nextcloud. There is a middle ground between big tech and self hosting.
I tried ubuntu touch. Not having any banking app was a pain. I was not successful in using signal. WhatsApp is also very used around me. So I gave up.
I wanted to degoogle so I tried iOS. It is absolute garbage.
I think /e/OS, GrapheneOS and CalyxOs are the best to use right now. I might buy a fairphone with /e/OS despite the price when I will change phone, because I do not want to buy a pixel