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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 19th, 2023

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  • Thank you for that response, I think you did a great job helping me understand you and your wife’s perspective. I had a long period of lowness, and though I was not suicidal, some of the things you described sound close to how I thought and felt.

    The part about the suicide hotlines reminded me of is a talk my coworker did on mental health, and she said that if you don’t get along with your therapist within the first two sessions, it’s ok to find another therapist. I imagine that’s what these hotlines are like. When you call in you’re basically grabbing a random person from a crowd, and the chances of that person resonating strongly with your story on the first try is probably low. I could see folks just hanging up if it wasn’t helping, but it seems like they may have better luck if they call back again and talk to somebody different.

    At the end of the day though, if somebody has a chronic condition, alleviating it significantly is not an easy task. It seems like these hotlines have to struggle with that tension between wanting to help, but knowing that significant long term improvement isn’t easy to achieve, especially when you’re just talking to the person who is looking for help.

    I’m not going to say these resources are worthless, but they’re worthless to me and I would assume at least a few people who have similar problems. I’ve never felt compelled to reach out or search for resources like this. They’ve always felt insincere, similar to corporate PR speak or celebrity “apologies”.

    I think this is how my brother mostly felt. One thing that he was into that seemed to help was stoic philosophy. I wasn’t into it when he was alive, but happened to get into it shortly after he died and it immediately resonated with me. I wished we had gotten to talk about it more when he was alive. It certainly helped me deal with the aftermath of losing him.

    Thanks again for the response. Good luck finding your peace.








  • it’s hard to be brave enough to approach new people

    I was talking to my wife yesterday about how I gained social skills as an adult, and part of it was making a deliberate effort to start conversations with at least a few strangers everyday. Not hold a conversation, merely start one. Doing this for a while helps you get comfortable making chit chat and feeling out if it’s worth continuing a conversation, and breaks down the idea that every conversation has to be meaningful.

    Not sure if this helps you, but it really helped me.

    As for where to go, look for gatherings like flea markets, car shows, street fairs, anything. Even if you don’t care about the topic, be there for the people, and keep an open, curious mind. Maybe even make a game out of it, like the meow game, or some other goofy phrase, or try to ask a variety of people the same question. Or bring something that is a conversation starter like a dog, or juggling balls, or something small related to your furry hobby. The idea is to be around people in a mode that makes interaction easy.

    Meeting people is just the first part though. Moving on to friendship obviously takes more work and time.










  • Everybody gets the food they want and then meet back up. Also talk to other people, talk about cool food related stuff like spices and restaurants and ethnic dishes and stuff.

    I’m with you though, the long lines, high prices, and hit or miss taste really turned me off to them. They were all the rage when I lived in SF, but I only found a few that I actually liked. Like Señor Sisig… sigh, what I would do for some Señor Sisig these days. But most were just blah. I live in the Midwest now and food trucks here are the same hit-or-miss quality and same high prices and small portions.

    So yeah, if it doesn’t sound fun for the social aspect, I’d skip it and just go to a good restaurant.