This explanation really helped me make sense of it: Monty Hall Problem (best explanation) - Numberphile

Well done!!

I’m AuDHD. I need my keys and things in the same spot, but I also struggle to remember to actually put them there. That’s the missing part of the habit for me. I have to consciously think “put them here” every time or future me will have a meltdown when they can’t find what should be there.

On the surface, I probably look like the person you’re describing, but no one knew I had an ADHD diagnosis that went ignored in childhood. No one knew how much I was masking every day. It’s harder now because I have to make my own meals, clean my house, etc. All the things I didn’t have to do as a kid. I got to learn, which I loved (my special interest is research) and do various activities I enjoyed, even if it was exhausting. Now, I’m stuck doing all the things I was never taught by my family, with no structure, just trying to survive. Of course it’s harder than when I was a kid. Those memes help me feel valid and seen, something my family were never willing to do, but at least now I have friends that get it.

There’s so much trauma that happens from neurodivergence being ignored in childhood, and that takes time to process. I spend a lot of my days crying over all the times I wasn’t allowed to cry growing up, processing things in therapy, etc. I literally can’t force myself to enjoy life without first having the needed tools. It’s sad that I can’t do what I used to, but I’m slowly getting there. Kindness and patience are what are needed most, when that’s not something I was given as a child.

All this to say, you never know what’s below the surface.

For some of us with a tendency to overapologize, learning to say thank you instead at times is helpful.

It’s like dentist only know how to shame. I have yet to meet one that understands self-care is hard for people with ADHD/Autism. I’m doing by best and shame makes me give up.

So it’s not just me. Felt like I was going a bit crazy seeing that.