Yeah dude, I agree with the rest of the posts. Your Psych is more than likely dead-on Especially if drinks like Monster make you feel like you're 'honing in'; That was my self-medication until I got my Diagnosis, and thankfully one I was able to stop after getting help + meds. My heart thanks me at least lol
Getting onto ADHD meds (Vyvanse [so frakkin expensive, my god] for me, but different meds work for different people, and you may have to try a few before you find one that works.) was a complete game changer. I can't overstate how much better I could focus or just… Live. Heck it even helped some of my lifelong anxiety, and I'm even able to help with picking up around the house (i.e.walking by a pile of stuff and not thinking it's a million impossible tasks), which is something I've always struggled with too.
Unfortunately I'm too old to go get an official ASD diagnosis, however both therapists I've seen and my psych agree I likely have both. It's helped me fix a lot of issues in my life and given a lot of background that lets me notice better when I'm about to meltdown. It lets me sometimes at least try to defuse it before it goes off, y'know?
This list is reallllllly similar to a lot of things I deal with. The meltdowns, the anxiety about people or busy places, and noticing absolutely everything around you.
About the music stuff- did you ever play Guitar Hero / Rock Band back in the day? If it was enjoyable, consider trying out an instrument. Guitars / Basses can be bought for fairly cheap, and there are games like Rocksmith (get the 2014 one, the new one's subscription BS), and it can help gamify learning music. I've been playing stringed instruments since I was 11, and I found that over time I began to more ignore the vocals and focus on the technical complexities of the music themselves. Being able to take that, and eventually nail a song in Rocksmith, gave me a much deeper appreciation for music. Also Rocksmith lets you control volume for the vocal tracks too, so every song becomes an instrumental! A secondhand guitar of decent build is probably 300$ or so (I bought a Gibson Melody Maker in 2007 brand new in box for $500, so there's 'cheaper' options available, especially used. Ibanez is pretty decent for starter gear too)
Even if meds aren't a silver bullet that fixes everything (I still struggle with executive function), getting any of the benefits will make one hell of a difference. I can at the very least get some enjoyment out of doing tasks like chores now. Still working on starting and actually finishing all my projects tho XD
You'll be alright, my dude. Promise! We've all been there. Getting the right meds and good tools will make the sun come out, at least a little bit.
First step is asking for help, you did good there :) You're seeing a shrink, good! Have a chat about trying something for it; It could help immensely and make life less like running a marathon in a minefield.
There's a great community here for ya. Heck even I'm usually a lurker (that Anxiety thing, y'know) but I just wanted to chip in.
You got this. <3 Remember to be excellent to yourself, too. 🎸
Ha I only intended this to be short, yet it's a mile long. My bad! Rofl