Yeah but this guy doesn’t currently need independence, he needs safety. Independence isn’t gonna give it to him - if anything, it’s making him feel exposed and unsafe.

It’s like kids, they need to be cared for while they learn how to handle themselves. Slowly, you let them go and eventually they spread their wings and fly off. But until then, they’re vulnerable, weak, and highly dependent. Doesn’t make them any less, they just have other priorities.

Well, once he opens up she can train him to be more independent. But first he needs the security and wiggle room.

Its not the best approach, but in the mental world you take what you can get.