Senior Chief Petty Officer. Starfleet is in my blood, and I’ve spent my entire adult life in service to boldly going.

Keiko and Molly are my favorite humans, but Transporter Room 3 will always be my favorite.

Just don’t ask who what’s in the pattern buffer.

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Joined 3 months ago
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Cake day: August 27th, 2024

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  • A dramatization, by someone slightly baked:

    "This is my neighbor. I keep him from getting too uppity by basically making it impossible to live here, since because of Me everything is insanely expensive or they literally can’t buy it.

    As anyone who works for me can tell you, it’s not MY fault I’m doing this. It’s because I don’t like the colors of their shirt. Blame the shirt. And everyone take a look at how dumb wearing this shirt makes you look! See what happens when you wear it? You end up like him EVERY TIME! For more proof just look at all these other people who’s shirts I didn’t like and also attempted to kill (allegedly wink wink) and see how poorly they’re doing. I’m such a good neighbor. Just ask my richer neighbor. And ignore anyone inside frantically shaking their head no. Number 1!"



  • As a teenager I straight up called my dad a fucking idiot to his face for saying “Some scientists somewhere are getting rich off global warming hoaxes” and was rather unprepared to explain his (lack of) thought process when I asked “how?”

    To paraphrase, “Someone somewhere is making money off of it or the news wouldn’t be talking about it”, the news being Fox and all they were doing is saying how fake it is, not that it’s real.

    “If you really believe that, then you’re a fucking idiot.”

    Surprisingly, my mother never heard of this conversation and he never brought it up after that.

    And around 2010 I stopped hearing him say anything negative about climate change.

    Now he’s starting to realize how little snow his childhood town gets compared to back when him and his brothers could go driving onto a lake in the 70s. Idk if he actually believes it’s real yet, but he hasn’t denied it when others talk about it in many years.














  • My wife refused to get a helmet when we got bikes because “I’ve never had an accident on a bicycle and we don’t go fast enough to need it” , so I said “Fine, we’ll have this discussion after the first ride”

    I got up to the top speed of the speed-controller ebike, she followed, and when we stopped it old her to imagine a puppy runs out in front of her, she has nowhere to go but straight into a wall and smash her head into the concrete, the trees and smash her head into the wood, or jump off the bike and smash her head into the pavement. Because in a crash, your head is going to hit something, and in this case you could be the most careful person on the planet but you can’t stop a puppy, or child, or DUMP TRUCK from blocking your path and forcing you to make a hard choice in less time than it takes to sneeze.

    She decided to pick a helmet.

    The hard surface your head will bounce off or grind into will not be nice about you failing to wear a helmet. Neither will I.