I had it but really had to scroll to the bottom. It was also not Reddit but articles saying it was the first result. Which is kind of ironic.

This summer I have switched my Reddit, web browser, password manager, laptop, external keyboard, mouse type and now I either have to learn to live with Windows 11 or deal with the head ache of installing Linux. In other words I feel you. And figuring how to make Windows 11 to be tolerable and having to look into keyboard as touch typist is annoying as hell. I am not sure how I can completely degoogle myself as I use or used everything they have although not for really sensitive content in long, long time. But the fact is my gmail is my first adult email address and is even older than my Reddit account is.

I remember some time in high school somewhere around their IPO my friend told me google will be the next really big thing. If I had had listened listened him and had had some money I might have become a lot richer than I am. There was some now weird optimism and exitement around the now big tech companies. The vision I have of google is really different now than then but I still carry some attachement as sentimental person. I guess I am taking steps. And if anyone has input into which securish cloud storage to use that is somewhat cheap for multiple terabyte of things and can be used from file explorer, please tell me. Thankfully sensitive data is mostly elsewhere.

Basically in those situations people find new ways to be connected. For example, while satellite dishes are banned in Iran they are pretty common in that if you don’t have one you propably know someone who has. Mesh networks are currently being used in Sudan and have been in other countries where government has shut down internet. Usually shutdowns and restrictions don’t happen without warning so people have usually started to smuggle in satellite internet devices. But there are two huge issues. One. you need certain level of technological literacy and there is often some financial cost applied. If you asked my mom what is dark web she would look me weirdly. Partially as her English is not great but I have never heard anyone actually using the Finnish version but mainly because she has no idea what it is. Majority of people are somewhat priced out of satellite internet globally. And no one has heard of mesh networks unless they are techies, activists or people who have experienced government severely limiting internet access.

I am always astounded about how big of procentage manage to stay connected. Need really is mother of inventions. But if you put my mom, stepdad or stepmom in these situations, they would have no idea where to start. The rest of my immediate family would figure it out as we are more or less techies.

If they were from backgrounds like you they would be you. Your decisions didn’t come from a vacuum. We are a complex mix of our genetics and environment. You really also have no idea how they will deal with things in the future. There are concepts like peaked in high school and previous gifted children and youth that ended up not doing a lot with their lives later.

Also, inventing something or founding a successful startup is not necessarily succeeding in life. There are scores of people who got rich and/or famous and are miserable. While money is important up to a point, external success doesn’t really mean you are living a life worth living. It can help but comes with its own cost.

I think you are focusing on external things instead of internal ones. You are also comparing yourself to people whose heads you have never been in.

Why do you think those decisions were so much better? You focusing on academics and enjoying yourself is pretty much what I think you should have been doing. Being a child and a teenager is exactly the time when you should be figuring out yourself and what you like so you do not wake up at thirty and be in a profession you hate.

The vast majority of people don’t end up inventing something. Are they wasting their lives?

I think the thing you are missing is that you are comparing yourself to people who are not only exceptional but also and more importantly lucky. No one who is 17 is able to do these things without some luck and often resources and support from people with vastly more resources than so-called normal Joe has. You also have no idea how far their ideas will actually carry. You all are just getting started.

We have this image of everyone starting at the same line but even without taking into account different natural abilities, we do not. Someone has neurodivergence or mental health struggles holding them behind. Others have physical disabilities. People come from differing wealth statuses or family composition. Some have huge amounts of connections to what they want to do. Some people get a better education. Some don’t even have a home or country they can stay in. The only thing you can do is your best. And learn that your value doesn’t come from what you do or have done, but from being first a person and secondly a good person. You are unique.

I am more than twice your age which by some standards makes me old. My life has been full of missed opportunities, mistakes, doing things too late, and a lot of things that other people think are amazing. It is hard to come out of inside my head and really look into what I have done. While I am nothing special or great, when you try to see yourself from the outside the view is very different. What I see as something that held me back and that is still keeping me back, others see it as overcoming a really crappy childhood and functioning despite the hell I went through. What I see as an easy way to make money, childcare, the children I took care of see as something integral to their childhoods in a positive way. And the accidental adventure based on the fact that I couldn’t stop myself from at least trying to help made me a humanitarian aid worker with actual expertise. Now I am planning on pivoting again as I want something less stressful so I am looking into university in my mid-thirties. Where I have imposter syndrome, others see expert to be respected. But none of those happened because I was so good. From the social safety net my country provided to the almost entirely free and good quality education I received, lifted me to be more than what my beginnings would have indicated in the majority of countries around the globe. I have friends who only could have 4 years of school until they ended in my country as adults. They got extraordinarily lucky based on the routes and times they took those routes to even end up here. Had they not, I can promise all their efforts for the foreseeable future would have gone to just surviving. While I am somewhat intelligent on paper at least, that was not what made our lives different. It was the where, when, and how our lives started and what happened along the way we had little to do with.

Do I feel like I wasted my life? Yes and no. While I do not regret anything, I think I should have lived a little bit more for my own benefit. But it would be a little bit premature to think I wasted my life. There is hopefully half at least left.

You. You are just starting. While the destination is somewhat relevant to life in general in that you need in my opinion to be working for a goal even if it changes, it is the journey that really matters. Don’t get so stuck with the goal of becoming someone that you miss the journey. Your value comes from you being you, so be you. There is really only one of those.