This post has a weird energy. I can’t decide if it reads more phobia or more fetish. Maybe both XD
This post has a weird energy. I can’t decide if it reads more phobia or more fetish. Maybe both XD
A psychopath wouldn’t be worried about whether they’re a psychopath.
Assuming you are genuinely asking, “ugly” is entirely subjective. Someone might be unattractive to you for any number complex reasons, including the possibility that you are simply not who they are trying to appeal to (or they don’t make appealing to other people a priority at all, for political reasons, personal reasons, or just convenience), but there is no objective standard of ugliness, despite what mainstream media and beauty standards may want you to think. Everyone is beautiful to someone.
My strategy for these days is to let myself off the hook for finishing anything. “Just put three dishes in the dishwasher, then you can go back to the project your brain will let you think about.” Sometimes that’s enough to break the spell and load the whole dishwasher.
I think there are different kinds of violent fantasies. I imagine all kinds of violent stuff in an unrealistic action movie kind of way, with exploding heads and disembowelment and all that (I run D&D games lol). I got worried that I might be dangerous. Then, one time I tried to vividly imagine the actual real world consequences of hurting a real person that I knew, and I couldn’t get any further than imagining the pained, betrayed look on their face before I had to hit the eject button. That brief exercise fucked me up for weeks afterward, but it was pretty reassuring. In the long run. I think I’m the schmuck in the horror movie that chokes when it comes down to actually firing a gun at someone and gets killed for hesitating, and honestly I think I’m okay with that.