I’m not sure I’ll answer this exactly right but here’s my thought on your question.
People pleasing to the point that you almost always sacrifice your own wants and needs is the the kind of thing that is seen or talked about as problematic.
The goal is to find as fair a balance as possible between not being an asshole but also not always sacrificing your own wants and needs. It can be hard for some people who have a personality where they always take a back seat to what others want or need in social situations. They are true people pleasers in the negative sense of the word.
I think some people use the term people pleaser to simply refer to someone who is nice, but that’s inaccurate because just being nice and handling social situations well is great as long as you aren’t always sacrificing your own wants and needs.
I’ve been called a people pleaser many times. I’ve worked hard to find a better balance between my own needs and others. Now I know that I am instead just a very nice person, but am more than willing to put my own wants and needs first. It just took me a while to figure out that my wants and needs are just as important as others.
Like I said, balance can be hard, but I think most people will be just fine if they stick to the “don’t be an asshole” part.
I’m not sure I’ll answer this exactly right but here’s my thought on your question.
People pleasing to the point that you almost always sacrifice your own wants and needs is the the kind of thing that is seen or talked about as problematic.
The goal is to find as fair a balance as possible between not being an asshole but also not always sacrificing your own wants and needs. It can be hard for some people who have a personality where they always take a back seat to what others want or need in social situations. They are true people pleasers in the negative sense of the word.
I think some people use the term people pleaser to simply refer to someone who is nice, but that’s inaccurate because just being nice and handling social situations well is great as long as you aren’t always sacrificing your own wants and needs.
I’ve been called a people pleaser many times. I’ve worked hard to find a better balance between my own needs and others. Now I know that I am instead just a very nice person, but am more than willing to put my own wants and needs first. It just took me a while to figure out that my wants and needs are just as important as others.
Like I said, balance can be hard, but I think most people will be just fine if they stick to the “don’t be an asshole” part.