I can’t remember a time that I’ve heard a more obvious projection, especially when it makes no sense. Who would read my post and get “triggered” from it? Lol

Look at the grammatical errors throughout their post. The cherry on top being the statement at the end being terminated with a question mark.

They also just recently had a question that includes them being on a pip.

I get the feeling that this person should be grateful that this doctor is only making enough more than they are that they would use the word “twice” to describe the salary discrepancy.

We’ve been transitioning from a dignity culture to a victimhood/outrage culture for most of my adult life. The relevant one here is the outrage culture, where people are trying their damnedest to be the most outraged. Nothing shows that you are more are outraged by something than suggesting that someone should die for being in disagreement with you.

Because we jumped to the conclusion that he is being arrested for providing privacy, and thus our internal biases make it difficult for us to quit that idea. Much easier to force the facts to fit the conclusion than it is to reevaluate the conclusion.

which is why you sound like a creep,

Yeah this is just too bizarre to continue. I’m done.

Are you comparing sexual assault to having your photo taken? Yikes.

This is a much more honest answer, one that I also agree with.

“It’s expensive, but I still want everything, so I pirated it. Seems pretty justified.”

Look, I’ve pirated a ton in my life, but this whole “This is actually a noble pursuit” is such a load of fucking horse shit. We want something and don’t want to pay the price that is required to get it, so we take it. The best part is “preserving” it, because we all know that when this guy is done playing, it will be deleted and he’ll never think of it again.

Appreciate it. But, make no mistake, I’m normally the chud who belongs on a block list. lol

Please and thank you don’t violate barriers.

Sure they do. Some people don’t like to talk to other people, and don’t want to have to say these things. Hell, sometimes I say please and thank you to people I don’t even like, even resisting the urge to be rude because i don’t like them, but because I realize it’s the right thing to do. You’re basically agreeing with my point here, you are just putting the threshold of what constitutes a violation of a barrier at a different point, and arbitrarily putting some line at “space.” That invasion of barriers is okay, telling people that they should say please and thank you, but others are not. The argument is really a matter of degrees.

Let’s be clear, we both agree that you don’t always put aside your own wants and needs to please another person. But sometimes it just makes sense to do so.

So, you’d tell your child that “yes, you have autonomy in this, but your feelings regarding your need for personal space matter less than your grandmother’s want for a hug” is what I’m gathering?

No, it’s not what you are gathering. That’s just how you are twisting it because you are trying to win the argument rather than come to some mutually agreeable position. I’m explaining to them that sometimes you should put your own minor issues aside for other people. I feel like you are arguing the opposite - which is why you are putting this in my mouth - and saying that your desires and wants should always be put above other people’s desires and wants.

Do you educate your mother on the child’s wants/needs?

Absolutely. Quite frequently. Relatively, way more than having to guide my child in towards the right answer.

There’s a reason why people are educated that, as far as physical touch is concerned, nobody else’s feelings should be taken into account.

I wish the world was this black and white and that you should always put your selfish desires above everyone else’s needs and desires. Unfortunately, the world we live in is an incredibly grey place where most things are a matter of degrees rather than a simply “yes/no” and sometimes the answer is to put others first.

Like, for instance, if they don’t want to briefly hug grandmom simply because they don’t like the way she smells. . .well, sometimes old people smell different, and if we love them we want to show that love to them in their love language. If that’s by a huge, then we should probably strongly consider doing it. If they don’t want to hug grandma because they have some sensory issues and any touch is bothersome, so be it that’s completely different and I know my mother would understand that. But the black and white answer to this question is wrong either way.

People have identified that exact thinking pattern in why they didn’t report sexual assault from a family member. Because they weren’t taught how to properly say no and why the right to refuse touch is important, it was that much easier to abuse them.

I assure you my children are taught what is and what is not appropriate touching, and we have a very open relationship where we discuss things all the time. But I feel like this is a “humans are bad at assessing risk” type of thing. . .like you’re so afraid of the rare instance where a child abused, that you are trading that outside risk for the near sure risk of them not developing good relationships with other people, which is a powerful skill.

When have I blatantly misrepresented your position? Let alone multiple times?

What about saying please and thank you? If my kid doesn’t want to show that kind of respect to those around them, should be like “good job setting boundaries” or should I point out how this will hurt them and upset other people?

I would never force my children to do anything they don’t want to (well, I guess I can’t say that because, well, anyone who is a parent knows thats just a pipe dream lol). More to the point, I’m also not forcing the OP. They asked for advice, and I gave it. And yes if my kids didn’t want to hug my mother, I would probably explain to them that this is likely to hurt them because of tension it might create in their relationship, physical affection is generally a positive thing for bother parties, and how it also hurts their grandmother.

Who cares, just fucking do it anyway.

I didn’t say no one cares, I said it would be something i tell my children to suck up and do anyway. Just like cleaning their rooms, brushing their teeth, or dressing nicely: all things that will help them out, and be pleasant for those around them, even if they don’t particularly like them.

But apparently we’ve gotten to the point where im just being misrepresented. If you don’t want to see my position, I can’t force you to.

but to just discount OPs feelings about it is FAR more rude than declining to be in a photo.

I didn’t discount them. They asked for advice, which included not having to explain themselves, and I gave it to them.

And I feel pretty justified in my position if the counter position requires comparing getting your picture taken to sucking a dick.

Having your picture in someone else’s album is such a non-thing that it just doesn’t make sense to be this upset over it.

I swear this is like arguing that you don’t want to say please and thank you because you don’t like talking to other people. Just suck it up and do it, as it greases the wheels of social interaction and would clearly, at least in the case of the OP, make this person happy.

If you said no and they did so anyway, that would be disrespectful and mean. But telling you that it’s the polite thing to do, and that you’re just getting upset over what amounts to nothing, is neither of those two things.

Spitting on someone, aside from being freaking nasty, mean, and frequently motivated by some type of bigotry

It’s a figure of speech. This is just pedanticism that completely avoids the actual point I made.

Also, why do you- or whoever- get to have their feelings considered, but not OP’s? why do you feel like you- or whoever- is so entitled to another person’s likeness that they should just “Suck it up”?

Because it’s the OP asking for advice on what to do in a certain situation. If it were someone else asking me what to do in the situation where they want to take a picture with someone that doesn’t want their picture taken, I would tell them to suck it up and go home without the picture.

This is ignoring the simple reality that sometimes, that photo going up on the internet puts the person who didn’t want it up in direct, literal, harm. maybe their profession has some religious prohibition that there’s violation. Maybe there’s a stalker ex. Maybe they’re in some type of witness protection or secret agent.

Except they gave us a reason: “I’m a private person.” Almost the first line of their post. The situation we were presented isn’t some case where it’s dangerous for them to have their picture taken. They just don’t want it. If it is risky for them, absolutely just decline.

People should be respected when they say “no, I don’t want my picture taken.”

Absolutely. But he didn’t say this, and explicitly said he doesn’t want to explain himself. So I responded to their actual request.

It’s best to simply be candid and decline.

I disagree. I get not wanting to give your number out to a patient or see one outside of work, and in that case you decline. I think most would understand this and not be offended.

But this person just wants a picture with them, baring some ridiculously rare shit that they made implicitly clear is not the case, it’s a simple, virtually riskless request and it’s best to just make another person happy and take a picture with them.

It’s shocking how many people are suggesting lying in a way that’s so easy to get caught. “Weird I just took a picture with the nurses and the other doctor.” That’s going to make it even more awkward.

If I were you, just suck it up and take the picture, and then say you dont hand out your private number to patients and like to keep the relationships professional. This is presumably honest.

Not taking the picture is really spitting in the guys face. It’s so quick and it goes a long way to making them feel good, and feel good about you. It’s one of those things I would explain to my kid that you just do it and get it out of the way even if you don’t like it.

Not giving our your number is entirely reasonable, and I suspect is also honest.

You’ll have to explain what you think I don’t understand and how you came to that conclusion.

Funny because it you talk to libertarians, we’ve never had a pure capitalist society. You probably just don’t realize how similar they all are to the people who claim we’ve never tried our Communism.

You claimed they were signed under duress, I pointed out that I know this isn’t always the case. But I even addressed your point assuming your claim was true.

It doesn’t sound to me that you are approaching this in good faith.