• warm water bidets exist, but cold water isnt as bad as you think
• no, thats a common misconception
• you can pat dry with a couple squares of TP, or keep a towel handy since you’re clean now
• you ever see all the nooks and crannies of a butthole? You’re going to hurt yourself before you’re actually clean if you’re just wiping with dry paper. You’re smearing shit around your asshole and then going about your day with a shitty asshole acting like that’s not a problem that needs solving

I can’t decide what’s worse, this or the fact that my wife prefers flat drinks.

You don’t have a finger dedicated to each button on the d-pad tbf. It’s still considerably slower, but I would prefer a controller for most 2D games in general.

If I waited until I was totally done to flush I’d have to carry a personal plunger around

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