As a teen I had little to no interest in penetration. Tampons didn’t feel good, so why would I assume something else would? I wasn’t really interested in penetration until I was interested in my partner specifically.

Once I (eventually) figured out pleasurable masturbation, I still stuck with external stuff mostly, and fingers in general. Eventually I got a job and a debit card and could privately online shop, but my little bag of toys continues to go mostly unused. Nothing beats my fingers.

I don’t know about other women, but for me masturbation is and always has been much more about what’s going on in my head, and then adding the pleasurable sensations to that, rather than experimenting with different sensations.

For a beginner I literally cannot imagine a cucumber. How many dicks are as thick as a grocery store cucumber? None I’ve seen in real life. Maybe in porn, but I can’t think of any. It would just hurt. Beginners would need something maybe the size of 2 female fingers. (Maybe a farmers market cucumber that’s skinnier?)

Thank you for sharing!

It’s almost like our collective experience is so boring and gloomy and so stressful for our little bodies and brains that we as a species are prone to mercurial outbursts where we act recklessly as a way to prove our existence to ourselves

They’re safe relative to other explosives like bombs.

I think a big part of it is that they’re dangerous. It’s fun to experience just a tinge of fear from how big they sound, or even just from being near the little street versions. It’s a (relatively) safe way for us to experience something that would otherwise be terror inducing explosives.

Hey, we look to the comments to see if someone else read it and summarized it first before commenting!

my husband and I both have ADHD. typically, we fight, I’m over it pretty quickly, he needs until he can sleep to get over it, but I think this is because we usually fight “My way.” I need us to talk it out and dissect what’s actually the root of the issue (usually past hurt, ongoing pattern, or misunderstanding at the onset of the fight). Once the issue is dissected and we commit to a resolution, or even just commit to acknowledging the issue and working on it, I feel loads better. If our flight is interrupted or he gets his way (ignoring the root cause, taking a short break from each other for a walk) then I’m simmering for ages and not that interested in being friendly again whereas he is back to normal.

Are you better at arguing? Do you typically “win” the argument? Or do arguments usually go along your ideas of how a fight should be structured? This may have something to do with it.

I second the above recommendation for the Nonviolent Communication book. It’s a short little read / work book and it can get you both using the same language, as well as kind of force you to take responsibility for your own feelings and needs.

I use the one with my hair color. For things like thumbs up I stick with yellow

I don’t think it’s the soap and scrubbing that’s keeping these dishes from being washed immediately, it’s the stopping what you’re doing, stand up and bring the soak to the sink immediately that’s stopping people. That said I WISH my husband would just Rinse things immediately. He is using the pan literally two feet away from the sink! Just turn and rinse it out while it’s still hot!

People have said this, but a playlist. I put on music I’m familiar with that is upbeat. I figure each song is around 3 minutes, so when the song changes I’m like oh yeah, get to business, that’s three more minutes that have gone by! Bonus if you play the same playlist so you know “usually I’m rinsing my hair out by this song! I’ve got to hurry up!”

I have no idea how to go faster than 20 minutes. Between washing my face, body, shaving my under arms and legs, washing my long hair… that’s just how long it takes. I do not spend any time zoning out or enjoying the shower, it’s strictly chores.

Where’s your line of assault vs harassed? Is it a man exposing his penis when you didn’t ask for that or agree to it? Is it a guy coming up to you and asking if you have a boyfriend and when you say yes, he grabs your face and kisses you anyway? Is it your friend’s dad grabbing your butt at a party? Or is it only penetration. What about a one night stand who keeps going after the condom breaks? Every single woman I know has several stories like the above (those are mine off the top of my head).

This is a thoughtless take. Do you know how hard it is to do things randomly? It takes way more work than doing things for a reason. Just because you don’t know the reason, you assume it’s arbitrary? That kind of thinking is why simple rules and instructions don’t get followed mucking up entire systems.

From another comment on this thread:

“I think it goes back to Fannie Farmer in 1896, who wrote the first major and comprehensive cookbook in English that used any kind of standard measurements. European cookbooks mostly used vague instructions without any standardized weights or numbers before that. At this point in the industrialized world standardized cup measures were relatively cheap and available. Scales were relatively bulky, expensive, and inaccurate in 1896. So the whole tradition got started, and most of the major cookbooks owed something to Fannie Farmer. Cookbooks that used standardized weights probably got started in other countries much later, when scales were becoming commonplace.”

My immediate family was all on board, so no big worries. It was the Grand parent level that thought I was being unreasonable with the privacy stuff. None of them ever be brought it up directly to me, just to my husband and my parents, so I could never really address it.

Doesn’t this defeat the purpose of no shoes inside? The point is to keep anything that touches dirt outside your house. Aren’t you tracking in dirt if you go outside barefoot?

I think if we socialized men to not deny their biology and actually be around babies the numbers would be a lot closer to 60 or 70 percent of both genders love being around a little squish baby. Plenty of people don’t like it in both genders, but in my experience most men like a lot of domestic stuff if they’re not specifically trained not to.

My relatives hated this strategy, and I wasn’t the only one who suffered from it. They guilted me for it, but also guilted my parents and siblings. As if they are entitled to the details of my daughter.

People could handle (though they were vocally unhappy about it) is keeping the baby off Facebook. They could not handle me not sending pics on (Facebook) messenger, and they couldn’t handle me not telling me the birth weight.

Multiple boomers got very upset that I wanted to keep that information private.

Right, but hotels don’t expect you to take out the trash, wash the towels/bedding, or wash the water cups/ice bucket. Even if you don’t make a mess you still often have to do those things on top of the cleaning fee you’re paying.

Idk, my husband can sneak out of bed, but his phone vibrating in the bed wakes me. Even if it’s just a little zzt to indicate a text has come in. I guess it’s one of the noises I’m “listening for”?

You are correct that it’s not close, but also you need gas in the gallons, and you need coffee in the tablespoons