Beesbeesbees

Can confirm, as an idiot. IT hates me. But it’s mainly my kids using my Lenovo as a frisbee.

Sometimes I play sudoku rather than doomscrolling.

Socializing is a part of being at work in person. Try engaging in reciprocal conversations. Ask about them instead. At least if you’re stuck, you aren’t talking about yourself.

Just do an airdrop. Bag of cash on my porch is fine.

I think it’s good to discuss our feelings. Men have socially reinforced the exact opposite amongst themselves and had it imposed on them by others. We’ve all heard “boys don’t cry, man up” etc. I worked with a young man who thought he was mad all the time. We broke through that, he was having so many emotions he didn’t know how to label because he simply wasn’t encouraged in that direction. That, I think, is incredibly lonely.

Stack on top of that growing up behind a computer screen, surrounded by manfluencers giving questionable advice, having your formative years recorded and picked apart…not being able to make those early awkward social interactions because of covid for a lot of young men as well…yeah.

Of course I think it does get conflated with a lack of intercourse or whatever. Young women are feeling abused by their lack of rights and they view what would traditionally be awkward young love/courtship as a threat. Incel ideology used to be fridge, but there are a disturbing number of young men embracing these ideas. All while women’s reproductive options are limited, making intimacy more difficult for everyone.

So there’s this historical precedent of not opening up, but boys started to learn not to do that anymore. Just in time to get shut down. It’s not girls fault, it’s not boys fault, it sucks. But I don’t see it improving until intimacy feels safe for everyone again.

It’s not absurd to say 20 year olds and 30 year olds are different in that way. From life experience to brain development, it’s a documented fact that older people predate these inexperienced individuals for a variety of reasons. Hence, if you look 20 and a 35 year old is interested in you, I advise you to be cautious. Now, some people will argue that once someone is legally an adult none of that matters. Sure, under the eyes of the law. But you’ve more than admitted here you’re looking for someone immature, that you are also immature. Be careful, older people giving you advice don’t do so to harm you or because they are ashamed they’ve aged. They have often been taken advantage of by older individuals.

It has nothing to do with being secure oand insecure. Predators target young, naive individuals. It’s a known fact. Silence enables predation. Your defensiveness is weird.

The difference between 20 and 30 mentally is huge. They are babies. That said, if you look super young you will naturally attract some of the worst types of people…be wary.

It’s your job as a parent to teach your kiddos these sorts of things. It might feel uncomfortable, but it is part of the deal. It’s your job to teach him all of these personal hygiene issues. I taught both of my children (boy, girl) these things. For some general info I had to do a lot of research on boy things, as I don’t have those parts. But I did it and we’re fine. This doesn’t just apply to hygiene but all those life skills we aren’t just born with.

We uh…read books. And spread misinformation among ourselves. Good times.

Great question. Tried the paid thing (38f). Lots of decent (superficially) matches, none of whom shared my values or interest. It was a huge waste of money across apps.