AttackBunny

It’s not about needing a safe space. It’s when you say something, and then someone comes by and starts picking apart one piece of what you said. Which never even relates to the conversation at hand anyhow. Or they try to “correct” you about some ridiculously minute grammar mistake/word choice. Or even better, they interpret what you’re trying to say completely wrong, and go on the offensive.

Sadly no. I guess it’s a good thing. I’m just not on any social media much now.

I came over with the initial reddit defector wave. I loved it here. You could have civil conversations, even when you disagreed with someone else. It honestly felt like the forums of the early 2000s again. Then it started getting more aggressive, and all the “well…aksually” type replies started happening. I find myself hardly on lemmy/kbin/beehaw anymore because of it.

You’re not alone. There are a lot of people in your position. As others have said, it may make sense to set reasonable goals, and give yourself a small reward when you pay off a card or reach another milestone you set.

As someone else said, pay minimums on everything, except the smallest card, where you put all the disposable income toward. That will get paid off quickest, and then you move to the next smallest. The only way I can think of this being a bad plan is if you have a large debt with a significantly higher interest rate, in which case pay as much to that as you can, then move down the line.

Thank you for literally proving my point. You realize that people are allowed to dislike things, right? Even if you don’t agree with it. You may hate dogs (for instance), that’s your prerogative, but others don’t get to judge you for it, simply because you know what you do and don’t like. So maybe stop being a judgy asshole. I KNOW I don’t like kids. Sure some might be ok for like a minute, but they aren’t for me. That doesn’t mean there is something wrong with me, or I’m trying to be edgy, or I have severe mental health issues, or that I’m an asshole, or that it’s an “interesting point of view”. It’s reality for a LOT of people. I KNOW myself. I know what I do and don’t like. I wish more people would realize it about themselves BEFORE they have kids, and hate them.

You are absolutely in the bottom 1% of the minority then. I can count on one hand the amount of people who have said “good for you for knowing yourself” or “right on” or any variation of agreement/acceptance/confirmation when I have unequivocally started I did not want kids. I said it as a kid (like under 10 years old), and was told I’d change my mind. I said it in my teens, and was told that I would meet the right person and change my mind. I said it in my 20s, and I was told I’d change my mind I just had to wait for my biological clock. I said it in my 30s, and I was told my clock would start soon, and I’d change my mind. I’ve said it in my 40s, and I’m told “it’s not too late”.

Not everyone likes children, and THAT’S OK.

Agreed, the amount of guys who told me “I’ll marry you, and give you babies in a year” after dating for like 2 weeks, and like it was some goal I had, was ALARMING. I immediately ended all contact with those guys, no matter how much fun they were in the moment. Found husband like 15 years ago, and we are still very happy. MUCH happier than everyone I know with kids, and we own a business together.

Also, nevermind there are how many kids in foster care, that all those baby crazy lunatics refuse to even consider, because ew not my own progeny bullshit. I know it’s not easy to adopt, because there is a suitability/means test, but that should say something, shouldn’t it?

Ok, probably going to get downvoted, but here we go. I HATE hate hate hate children and especially babies. They cause a visceral reaction in me and it’s not good.

Their awful high pitched squeals, their sticky filthy hands, their germ carrying drippy snotty faces, their awful baby talk that doesn’t make sense, their smell (barf), that awful cooing/laugh I could go on forever. Add in the terrifying idea of carrying one of those parasites in my for 9 months and then popping it out, while destroying my body? No fucking thank you.

Add in that if you say you’re childfree people ALWAYS try to convince you that you need one. “Oh when are you and husband having baybeeeeees?” Never. “What!?!?!? Why!?!?!? They are soooooooo pwecous”. “You need to have at least one. They are miracles, and gods gifts.” “Who will take care of you when you’re old, if you don’t have kids. How will you have purpose in your life?” Idk Karen, maybe I have other interests, and hobbies, or volunteer. I’m fully satisfied with my life WITHOUT kids. Of course this doesn’t ever shut people up.

There are very few places on the internet, and really anywhere, where childfree people can actually, openly say how they feel. If you say things like “god won’t someone shut that screaming brat up” in public, best case you get the look of death. More likely a bunch of people chastising you for not being sympathetic to the poor mom, whose REALLY stressed out, obviously.

All of that eventually breed the comments like “I’m going to put the baby in the microwave”. I know I’ve had to resort to it a few times with extra pushy people, who pester me every time they see me about kids. You get macabre enough and everyone eventually stops asking. Plus hyperbole is fun.

Most human babies look like a sack of potatoes or Elmer Fudd. They aren’t cute. Ever.

I admittedly do not like children, do not find them cute, and don’t want to see them. Plus, I have a HUGE issue with people posting their children on social media sites, when the child can’t give consent. On top of the security issues with posting a pic of your kid, their first name and location (at least in the data if not stated). “Oh look at little Johnnys first trip to the blah blah lake” not cute.

I know. I logically do. I get it. BUT there is a huge mental block for me on that one.

FWIW I wasn’t trying to be rude, or an asshole.

I know you’re not wrong, I just don’t think I could ever get my hand involved in that. I’ve seen portable ones, that are what you describe. I’ve also seen what look like the sprayers we have on our kitchen sinks, all the way to the crazy Toto ones that are part of the actual toilet itself.

@jungekatz all the other answers are far more nuanced, and explain a lot more detail, but the most simple answers to your question are 1. Propaganda and 2. Herd mentality/echo chamber thinking.

I’m in my 40s, and I’m still not ready to have grey hair. I’ll keep dying it until I’m ready for it. As for the rest of the stuff people put themselves through, no thanks. I’m not trying to spend huge sums of money on treatments, peels, products, or plastic surgery.

I have a bunch of younger cousins who are like you, they just don’t give a shit about it. They and their friends don’t think it’s required to shave their legs/pits. They aren’t dying their hair, or any of the other things to keep looking younger. They saw they parents doing it all, and just don’t want to participate. I’m a little envious of their no fucks to give, but like I said, I’m not there yet.

I understand this. My early life was pretty bad. In my 20s, I got away from my family a lot more, and started living my life (mostly) how I wanted to. I’m in my 40s now, and I look significantly younger than most of my contemporaries. I’m not saying this to brag in any way. I’m simply trying to point out that stress and all those things in early life don’t HAVE to lead to anything. They make us stronger, more resilient, and capable, as much as that sucks to have gone through.

Not trying to preach or tell you anything you likely don’t already know, but as for exercising not feeling good, change it up! Find a new sport. Take a break from your usual workout. Start walking more. Look into yoga. Yoga is truly one of those things that everyone should do. It’s crazy how much is affects your day to day. Everyone I know over like 30 complains about back pain, and I used to too. I have NONE (unless I do something stupid) after I started doing yoga 5 days a week.

Also, evaluate how you eat, and what you eat. I’ve started noticing A LOT more that what I eat the days before a workout have a much bigger impact on my workout than ever. I ate terribly this weekend, and yesterday, and my morning run was so much worse than normal today. I was dragging ass, and it was HARD, even though it was my mostly flat fast run (spoiler it wasn’t fast today)

I REALLY wish FODMAP worked for me. I hear everyone raving about it, but may of the “safe” foods aren’t safe for me, even in their tiny amounts, and non safe foods are fine. sigh

Yeah…

To OP, most kids look like some version of Elmer Fudd. My husband was a fat little shit as a baby/young child (he’s tall and skinny now). I poke fun at him for it, a lot. Just like he pokes fun at me for looking exactly like Monchichi as a young kid.

Yes, but I’m sure your gastroenterologist told you that carbonated drinks can exacerbate IBS issues, so probably not a good choice.

Unfortunately, no. There are a handful of emails, that no matter what I do, always go to the spam folder. I was told making them VIP would keep them out of the spam folder, but I can say with certainty that’s not true.

Absolutely. Ask Apple. Even the “VIP” all end up in the spam folder all the time too, and there’s no way to tell it “this isn’t spam”.

@dekema Understood, but what I think people are trying to say is that TikTok isn’t what you are looking for. It’s trash content to keep people scrolling. Arguably all social media is that, but TikTok also has the “bonus” of being enough chinese owned that it’s also a concerning data collection tool.

There may be a handful of creators on there, but think just about every link from tiktok you see. Personally, every time I see anything from there it’s some dumb dance, some dumb car trend, or a new “challenge”, or someone rambling about something they did/someone they encountered in public.

Unfortunately, if you want to make money, you need to whore yourself out on some form of social, and it’s usually mindless useless content. And because you need to post constantly, to keep the algorithms happy, the content suffers. TikTok, Twitter, and Facebook being the worst currently, imo.

lol. TikTok is absolutely NOT where you want to be then. I suppose you should ask yourself why you care about trends if you’re trying to live more intentionally.

As for giving up completely, imo it’s like people that go on hyper restrictive diets. It’s unrealistic. They fail every time. A reasonable amount of time on social is fine. It’s like ice cream, or a glass of wine. Once in a while is totally realistic. Spending all your time doing it is bad.

@pieceofcrazy