Two weeks ago, I had a date with a girl I met through a dating app. She was really nice, we had a great conversation and she told in person at the bar she would love to see me again.

Well fast forward a week, I keep texting her to set something up, but she’s not responding. I think she’s ghosted me. I mean, that’s fine, but if you don’t want to date me anymore, then just let me know. I will respect your decision.

Dating is so frustrating sometimes… It’s really fucking hard and I sometimes feel lonely because of my lack of success. I have a good job and I’m a nice guy… but eh… I digress.

  • Helldiver_M@kbin.social
    3·
    1 year ago

    I know women might have a good reason to ghost sometimes, but it’s still a shitty thing to do and can be really taxing as a guy who’s trying to date. It’s hard not to get emotionally invested when the intent is to date, and it’s hard to stop being emotionally invested unless there’s a clear “this isn’t working out”. I wish I could just be more ruthless and cut someone off for not responding within a given window, but my mind doesn’t work that way.

    Dating really sucks. You have to be in a good mindset to sustain getting the shit kicked out of you emotionally. Be sure to take care of yourself. Be as content as possible in your independent lifestyle, and when you’re ready again throw yourself into the ring. It can work out, but if you’re like me, you’re going to have to get beat up a few times before it does. It’s just the way it is, unfortunately.

    • PrunesMakeYouPoop@kbin.social
      1·
      1 year ago

      I had problems with this, and I just stopped getting attached. It took 2-3 dates for me to get actually attached to my partner, even though all of our dates and conversations were super fun and I genuinely enjoyed her company.

    • BlondieBuff@kbin.social
      1·
      1 year ago

      If you’re that emotionally invested that early on, you may need to do some self-reflection. The early stage of dating someone is not supposed to be a serious-committed-relationship type of vibe. You really are just hanging out and getting to know whether you would like to spend more time with the other person. If you’re so invested at that stage that ghosting is considered taxing to you, sit with your own priorities for a while and determine whether you’re going into dating with a healthy mindset.

      And you don’t have to be ruthless to know that your time would be better spent elsewhere. Take the sunk-cost on the chin and move on.