Something I’ve never been that great at is spontaneous conversation. I’m more than capable of public speaking if I’ve prepared something in advance. But if someone asks me something out of the blue, I really struggle to engage in deep conversation. Afterwards I’ll think to myself damn, why didn’t I bring up X or Y?
Half the time I don’t know what to add and I struggle to think of what to say. Sometimes words feel like they’re on the tip of my tongue and I can’t get them out, especially when I’m under pressure. And in group conversations, I find it hard to interject when I do think of a point. By the time a natural break comes along, the conversation has moved on.
I’d love to get better at this. What can I do to improve?
Know a little bit about a lot of things.
Conversation is about flow. Ask aquestion, get an answer, respond to that, they respond to you. If you know a little bit about a lot of things, and you always have some way to respond to what they’ve said.
But also learn to take the hint. If they’re giving you one word answers, they may not want to be in the conversation.
What sort of things would you try to gain knowledge in?
I work in IT, so most of the people I meet are in IT. So I know a little bit about a lot of IT topics. I also learned a little bit about every state, because IT people tend to move around a lot, so I always come across people from other states.
Try to stay up on pop culture a bit. Popular TV shows or music for your age group. For example, I know more about Taylor Swift than I should (though that’s because my wife won’t stop talking about it).
I’m told that sports and cars are very popular topics, but I never tried with those. I have zero interest.
There’s also a casual conversation channel here on Lemmy. Join those discussions and practice.