Something I’ve never been that great at is spontaneous conversation. I’m more than capable of public speaking if I’ve prepared something in advance. But if someone asks me something out of the blue, I really struggle to engage in deep conversation. Afterwards I’ll think to myself damn, why didn’t I bring up X or Y?
Half the time I don’t know what to add and I struggle to think of what to say. Sometimes words feel like they’re on the tip of my tongue and I can’t get them out, especially when I’m under pressure. And in group conversations, I find it hard to interject when I do think of a point. By the time a natural break comes along, the conversation has moved on.
I’d love to get better at this. What can I do to improve?
You hear about and see this a lot. You can even see it on people’s faces sometimes when you talk to them. They are already thinking about what they want to say rather than actually listening to what is said. So they are listening to respond rather than listening to truly engage in the conversation. I think many of us can be guilty of it at times. So I try to catch myself when I’m doing it. Remind myself how it feels to be on the other end of it when someone else does it.