Tl;dr: Awesome

Was officially diagnosed and put on medication (MPH/Medikinet) 5 weeks ago. I work far from where I live, so I got my own one-room apartment with a cat near my workplace and at the weekends I commute home to my wife and our shared apartment. I take my meds in the morning and they last for 7 hours. So, when the meds have an effect, I’m always at my workplace, but when I come back home to my working apartment in the evening, the effect is gone and I’m unmotivated again. Or it’s the weekends and I’m at my “real” home with my wife, doing all sorts of activities.

This means, everytime I was at my “work” apartment, I was unmotivated to do anything. The apartment looked just like you would expect it after 1.5 years.

Today is my first day at my work apartment with the meds working, and suddenly, I’m cleaning like a single guy expecting to get laid. No forcing necessary, no motivating tricks. I see something I don’t like and I do it. I can prioritize and focus and it requires no effort.

Medication really turns your life around when it works. And neurotypicals will never experience how much they play on easy mode.

Cat tax.

  • themachine@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    3
    ·
    1 year ago

    As someone long undiagnosed I would like to hear more about your diagnosis journey.

    We’re you just nervous about meds and hit a threshold? Outside of cleaning what else have you experienced?

    Also I don’t understand the two “when the meds worked” - one followed by I was always at work and the other “at my work apartment with my meds working”. So they were working and then they were working at your apartment. Sorry I’m stupid.

    What is a rebound?

    Thanks!!

    • ProcurementCat@feddit.deOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      6
      ·
      1 year ago

      As someone long undiagnosed I would like to hear more about your diagnosis journey.

      Got diagnosed with 36. I was extremely procrastinating my whole life, was “lazy”, never tidy, always unorganized - in sharp contrast to my sister and parents. I somehow still managed to get a PhD and become a government official in Germany.

      What is a rebound?

      My meds only work for 7 hours per day. This is when I’m productive and all. And the “rebound” is after those 7 hours, when the medication stops working and I’m back to being my unmedicated, procrastinating self.

      Also I don’t understand the two “when the meds worked” - one followed by I was always at work and the other “at my work apartment with my meds working”. So they were working and then they were working at your apartment. Sorry I’m stupid.

      Nah I have trouble wording this correctly, as english is my second language. Monday to Friday, those productive 7 hours always set in when I’m at work. But when I come home to my work apartment in the afternoon/evening, the meds are not working anymore.

      On Saturday and Sunday I’m at my shared apartment with my wife (which is always tidy and clean because that’s how she is). So, when I take my meds on the weekend and I get my 7 hours of functioning, I’m at my true home in our my shared apartment, but not at my work apartment. And then we do all kinds of things, like meeting friends and family and stuff.

      So, basically every day of the week, when I get my 7 hours of functioning, I’m not at my work apartment and it doesn’t get properly cleaned or maintained.

      We’re you just nervous about meds and hit a threshold?

      No, I was never nervous about meds. My procrastination just got so bad that I sought professional help, and this led to my diagnosis.

      Outside of cleaning what else have you experienced?

      During my productive 7 hours, I’m extremely focussed, organized, tidy, can follow talks or presentations very well. I don’t drift off at all. I have a strong urge to be productive, and even keep chats with my colleagues quite short so I can get to work on the stuff I was doing. After my productive 7 hours, I’m unmotivated and tired again and basically do nothing but cuddle my cat and watch Netflix, or maybe play Starfield.

      • ABCDE@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        1 year ago

        Do you feel you need that time after those seven hours to just be ‘lazy’ or at a state of rest due to the productive nature of your day?

        • ProcurementCat@feddit.deOP
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          6
          ·
          1 year ago

          No, actually not. I feel like if the feeling of productivity stayed, I would even be more happy.

          I realized that I have 3 different kinds of being unmotivated:

          • Low dopamine (brain). It’s like having sat through an extremely long and tough meeting where you had to concentrate hard. and afterwards you just need to lie down a rest for a while. That’s how I always felt during my entire life - but no matter how long I lied down, I didn’t recover.
          • Not enough food. I never noticed it this way before the medication. Feels the same as low dopamin, but it goes away if I eat enough and healthy. Before meds, I would just feel unmotivated like I always used to feel, but also hungry at the same time. Eating wouldn’t make it go away, but now with meds, it does.
          • Physically exhausted. The same feeling of unmotivated as the other two, but it follows after a heavy workout or hours of cleaning. Muscles hurt, joints ache. Needs a good nights sleep or some time relaxing and then it’s gone

          Before meds, I just always felt the same feeling of being unmotivated (low dopamine at all times), and sometimes I was also hungry and sometimes I was also physically exhausted. Now, I feel

          • motivated when the meds work
          • unmotivated when they work but I haven’t eaten enough, but motivation comes back after eating
          • unmotivated when they work but I went to the gym and had a hard session, but motivation comes back if I relax for a while unmotivated when the meds lose effect in the afternoon
      • themachine@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        1 year ago

        Thanks for your reply. I’m interested in medications but have always been fearful about addiction, side effects and dependency. I can function but only if I’m interested in what I’m doing, but it only works to a degree.

        I am really interested in hearing about people who are older like myself (10 years older than you) who have taken the meds plunge.

        • ProcurementCat@feddit.deOP
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          3
          ·
          1 year ago

          I can function but only if I’m interested in what I’m doing, but it only works to a degree.

          I used to be like this. Also, I was able to do things when the pressure got really high (like timelines or stuff). But usually, everytime I wanted to do anyhting, everytime I thought “I should do this”, I immediatly felt this strong reaction, a feeling of “no energy”, like my body telling my to conserve my energy and better not do anything.

          I’m interested in medications but have always been fearful about addiction, side effects and dependency.

          Frankly, I cannot see how I could get addicted to those meds. This is definitely not comparable to any drug I used (I took a lot, but don’t tell my employer!). I’m still my normal self, my senses, my way of looking at the world are still the same. I simply can do things, the thought of “I want to do this” is not followed by anything. I want to do something and I just do it.

          I wrote something about my side effects here: https://feddit.de/comment/2943749 For me, they are very manageable and do not really impact me.

          As for dependency - well, my life is simply better with the meds. If I want to be productive and live a happy life, I simply will require medication. That’s how it is, and I have come to terms with it. The increase in quality of life is absolutely worth it.