"Welcome to Town, USA! Please stay seated till the aircraft has parked at the gate, the temperature outside is 69 Freedom Degrees, the local time is 6:19 PM so good luck leaving the airport with any amount of haste and no there isn't an air-rail link, we thank you for flying with us, enjoy spending almost as much time in traffic as you did on the plane!"
Not only that but holy shit if a lot of customer service interactions aren’t just like that now. They use doublespeak to get around customers and look for ways to give people indirect answers so no one ever gets any real help.