I’m majoring in CS related-field, and I used to have tons of passion for it and underlying tech, and worked as full stack dev, but my mind was very different in a good way (better at logical/cognitive demanding tasks, creative, productive, etc). Things happened, and I just can’t stand living in society, experiencing all this materialistic world and feeling sick about it. I’m truly traumatized and I’ve been trying all available means to improve (so I’m not asking what rule 3 is against)… I can’t feel any passion for what I used to do… The meanings I gave for my life and hope are away. I don’t care anymore about digital world, industrialization, I just can’t. So my performance has suffered due to all this.
So, it can sound funny to read this, but I am considering living in a farm I have access to and do my own farming to eat, artesian well for water, constructing just a little home to live… I don’t exactly care about electricity. I would probably be happier just by burning some stuff to have light at night if needed and looking at the stars all alone until death.
What do you all think about this?
Sounds like you are going through burn out.
Use your vacation time and reset - travel, catch up with friends, go camping, visit family, talk with a therapist. Do whatever it is that makes you happy or to find happiness.
Once you reset, then make a decision whether you want to uproot your life to the Styx and pivot to something else.