Ok, I have no idea why this bothers me and I don’t even know what to call it. My husband is a “come here” guy. Something he thinks is interesting and wants to show me - hey, come here! Nuclear apocalypse - hey, come here! Why the hell wont he just tell me why he wants me to get up, trudge to wherever he is, so that he can reveal the surprise like some sort of performative art ? I never know if it’s going to be legitimate, a disaster, or something stupid. The walk to wherever he is is insanely stressful because the whole time I’m running through all possible horrible scenarios (we’ve had a lot of issues at the house lately so I never know if I’m going to find water in the basement or raccoons in the attic or a hole in my foundation, or just him looking at a funny cat video). I’d rather he say “hey, babe, something is happening wherever/whatever, come see this.” Instead I have to have the whole performance and reveal and I fucking hate it. Anyone else know what I’m talking about or am I just mental ?
Tell him “No, if you want something from me come to me, I am not a puppy”. That should be enough. See how he reacts, either like a bratty kid or like an adult.
That’s literally the same thing. He isn’t a dog either. Both people should be going to the other. Plus if one person is in the middle of something that can’t be paused, the other person should do the moving.
If it is always an order, then there is an issue.
In the case that you give as an example or an emergency, sure I agree. But that’s rare. To demand someone getting up and coming to you because you want something undefined is really rude, that’s not normal. I don’t think it’s the same thing at all to tell them what I suggested.
No… No it really isn’t. It’s not rude to expect others to participate in things. If I am cooking and my wife is not doing anything, it’s not rude of me to ask her to come to me to talk to me… It would be rude of her to make me stop and go to her to ask her a question if she isn’t busy… That’s not an emergency situation. If she is busy then the situation is different.
I also think people don’t realize that “in a minute* or"I’m busy” is an acceptable answer to"can you come here" questions.
Again… Perpetually demanding your partner to come to you is problematic.
But it isn’t inherently wrong to ask your partner to do things.