Like the title says, I am burned out.
Im a 45 year old American male and I don’t even know if I have a formal diagnosis yet. I am currently working with my primary care provider and am seeing a therapist that claims she is a specialist in adult ADHD and it has been months.
I remember as a youngster that my mom took me to the doc for hyperactivity somewhere around 2nd or 3rd grade. Somewhere around 1985 or 1986. That doc said I had ADD but it was probably cause by a sensitivity to “red food dye”. “Don’t let him eat red food and he will be fine”.
It wasn’t fine.
A few years back i was diagnosed with GAD and Depression and was given medication for those which helped me for a short time with depression stuff but didn’t do anything for the root of the problem.
I moved across the country and started working with my current doc and he prescribed Wellbutrin for my depression and said it’s also prescribed for ADHD. It wasn’t doing anything for the depression and I’ve since stopped all meds and now am working with this therapist.
Therapy is going well enough dealing with trauma and those things. But we aren’t doing anything with my ADHD which is my biggest problem.
I can’t focus at work. Executive function is gone and has been for a long time. Every day for like over 2 years is complete task paralysis.
My wife and I use this analogy about spoons to discuss mental capacity for life. Everybody has a certain amount of spoons in their drawer. Tasks and thoughts use up spoons throughout the day. Once the drawer is empty, there’s no more to give until you was some dishes and replenish (nap or a nights sleep or something).
Well I’m out of fuckin spoons and every time I check the drawer there are fewer and fewer spoons to work with.
I really hope there is a path to something resembling “better” because I do t know how much more of this I can take”.
It sounds like you and I are pretty similar people and pretty close in age, have you had a sleep study done and had hormone levels checked and all of that recently?
I take meds for my ADHD (Vyvanse FTW), GAD, and Depression and they all work drastically better when I have quality sleep (not just number of hours, like % deep sleep) especially, like to the point that it feels like my ADHD meds aren’t working even when I take them if I don’t get good sleep.
Hormone levels being off really really makes my brain fog awful even with meds (and I have tried many different ones before discovering that) to the point that I started to question if they even did anything anymore since I have taken them for a while.
Just some thoughts, if your doctor isn’t doing what you need and you can find a different one then you definitely should, it took me 3 or so before finding ones that I actually like for what it’s worth.
I have done a sleep study! I have 2 types of sleep apnea and I use a bipap. I get a solid 7 hours of sleep most nights! Not sure on the “deep %” part though. I’ve always been a shallow sleeper and am a chronic sleep procrastinator.
I live in the PNW and it’s a 6 month wait list to get any kind of mental health care that I can’t give up my therapist to get another.
Haven’t done a hormone test though. Is that like testing T levels and stuff?
I definitely thought I replied to this, ADHD sigh. That sucks about the therapist, hopefully your current one works out. If they are just against stimulants there are a few non-stimulant options to try now if you weren’t aware, maybe they would do that? Good luck :/
Yeah man, one of the T tests, I remember there being more than one type. My doctor suggested it when I felt like I was tired all the time and I was right below the lower end of the threshold and it has made all the difference.
I never would have thought to get it tested I figured I just wasn’t sleeping well but turns out that is part of why I wasn’t sleeping well. I remember it being cheap too I figured why not and I’m glad I did.
I also use an APAP, that is funny. I also get about 7 hours of sleep but tracking it with a smartwatch has been really interesting because I can definitely tell when I don’t get enough deep sleep from what it seems, very not scientific though haha.
Alright, one last thing, I know this isn’t the sleep community but I discovered there is a field of sleep dentistry on accident and that has been a really interesting journey. Turns out my jaw was too narrow and my tongue can’t suction to the roof of my mouth and that is partially what causes some of my apnea symptoms, it blew my mind. Anyway, just wanted to add that in case it helps you or someone else, good sleep is so important.